How Drag Race Saved My Life

RuPaul: serving charisma, uniqueness, nerve, talent… and maybe a little tectonic activity.

You see these astonishingly talented people on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Queens with charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent ready to take on the world—or so it seems at first glance. But if you watch closely, Drag Race is about so much more than fabulous looks and lip-sync battles. It’s a masterclass in human nature, confidence, and self-doubt.

When the queens walk into the Werk Room for the first time, they’re all serving bold entrances and over-the-top outfits. It’s easy to judge a book by it’s cover, but as the season progresses you really get to know these people. The queen who strutted in with intense confidence might secretly lack genuine self-esteem—and it shows when the competition heats up. Confidence can always be faked, but real self-esteem can’t be diminished.

Then there are the queens who never find their confidence at all. They typically sashay away within the first few episodes. And let’s not forget the queens who start out excited and confident, but somewhere along the way, they begin to doubt themselves and forget who they are. These are the queens RuPaul works hardest to encourage, silencing their inner saboteur and reminding them that they are talented, smart, and capable. Finally, there are the rare queens who show up fully knowing who they are. They walk in, know exactly what they have to offer, and don’t question it for a second. These queens make history.

Watching this unfold season after season, I realized I’d become one of those queens stuck in my own head. I wasn’t the confident queen who knew her worth. I wasn’t even the queen waiting for RuPaul to pep-talk me back to life. I was the queen who had stopped believing in herself entirely. The person I thought I was as a kid—cool, artistic, funny, lovable, creative—was still in there somewhere. But I’d buried her. I hid my authentic self in fear that someone might see through me and declare me a fraud.

The thing is, you do know who you are. Deep down, you’ve always known. That voice inside you? It’s the same one you’ve been hearing since you were a kid. The one that knows what lights you up, the one that’s drawn to your heroes, the one that whispers, “You’re special.” But at some point, many of us start telling that voice to pipe down. Maybe it was when someone told you to “grow up” or “be realistic.” Maybe it was when you decided it was safer to fit in than to stand out. Think back: when you were a kid, did you think you were cute? Funny? Smart? When did someone convince you otherwise? And why did you believe them?

Now think forward. What will future you say about the choices you’re making today? Will they be glad you silenced your joy, turned down the volume on your true self, and let the saboteur run the show? Or will they celebrate that you finally stepped up, silenced the doubts, and reclaimed who you are?

Because that’s the cost of listening to the wrong voice. Your dreams shrink. Your confidence fades. And the life you’re meant to live—big, bold, and authentic—slips through your fingers. But when you tune back in, when you hear that voice saying, “You know who you are, and you have what it takes,” that’s when the magic happens. That’s when you take control, own your power, and step fully into your potential.

Remember those confident queens who make history? It makes for a great season finale, but the better stories are the ones about comebacks. The queens who stumble, get lost in self-doubt, and then find their way back. They silence the inner saboteur, reclaim who they are, and show the world their voice and everything they have to offer. That’s the real magic.

But here’s the good news: it’s never too late to change the channel. That voice inside you, the one that knows exactly who you are, is still there. It’s waiting for you to listen. It’s cheering for you, even now.

If you’re ready to explore this path and reconnect with your authentic self, head to guideandseekcoaching.com. Let’s find that voice together.