The Truth About Meditation: You’re Not Supposed to Be Good at It

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard:
“I can’t sit still that long.”
“My mind just wanders.”
“I can’t focus on nothing.”
“I can’t clear my head.”
and every time, I want to say: Yeah. Exactly.

Let’s Clear Something Up

Somewhere along the way, meditation got sold as this perfect, blissed-out state where your mind goes completely quiet and you radiate calm. So if you fidget, think about your grocery list, or find yourself replaying an awkward conversation from 2012, you assume you’re failing.

But your brain is built to think. Expecting it to go silent on command is like expecting your stomach to stop digesting because you’d prefer some peace and quiet. Not going to happen.

Meditation isn’t about “clearing your mind.” It’s about noticing where your mind goes… and then bringing it back. Over and over.

Meditation Is a Mental Workout

Think of meditation like lifting weights. Nobody goes to the gym, curls once, and then says, “Well, I’m terrible at this, guess I’ll never be strong.”

The wandering mind is the weight. Returning your attention is the rep. And neuroscience backs this up: every time you notice your attention drift and bring it back, you’re strengthening the neural pathways tied to focus, self-awareness, and emotional regulation.

MRI studies even show that consistent meditation can increase gray matter in areas of the brain linked to memory, learning, and empathy. Translation: you’re not failing when your mind wanders. You’re rewiring your brain for the better.

Why You’ll Never Be “Good”

Meditation has no finish line. You don’t suddenly “arrive” at being mindful forever. Your brain will wander. That’s normal. In fact, studies suggest nearly half of our waking life is spent in mind-wandering mode.

So when it happens during meditation, you’re not doing it wrong . You’re simply practicing what it means to return. Again and again. That’s where the change happens.

For neurodivergent folks, I often hear, “I just can’t sit still long enough to meditate.” This is especially important. Meditation isn’t about being still or calm. It’s about practicing awareness in whatever form works for your mind and body. Fidgeting, noticing distractions, moving with it? That still counts. You can also try walking meditation or even meditating with your eyes open . Let mindfulness meet you where you are instead of forcing yourself into a mold.

What You Actually Get Out of It

Meditation doesn’t make you “good” at sitting still. It makes you better at noticing yourself in real time.

It’s catching yourself snapping in traffic because your shoulders are tight. It’s realizing you’ve been inhaling lunch on autopilot. It’s hearing your inner critic mid-sentence and deciding you don’t have to buy into it.

That’s the strength you’re building, not perfection, but presence.

The Takeaway

You can’t be good at meditation. But you also can’t be bad at it. There’s no medal, no finish line, no perfect session waiting at the end.

There’s only showing up, noticing, and coming back. That’s the rep. That’s the point.

So the next time you think, “I’m failing at meditation,” remember: if your mind wandered and you noticed? Congrats. You just did it.